So, I removed all my earlier posts before. I got my heart broken and I felt there were no longer needs for words. I started this post because of him. 512 poems, 215 prose just for a single man. That was a bit much. I loved hard.
Pain was an excellent muse. But when it hit real hard, even words dried up. I couldn't write anymore and so I took up painting. I sucked at it. My brain would conjure beautiful scene but on canvas, it would just translate into a 5 years old sketching. Terrible, terrible idea to think that pain alone could magically turn you into an artist.
Then, I had my moments of genuinely believing that I was going to die a sprinter. I must have bathe on weed coz who drew up a whole 50 pages of my possible single life's trajectory and baby adoption plan at 27 years old?!
I was an emotional runner and I was great at it. Nothing could hurt me and I felt invincible. Nobody was going to get through my guard again, ever.
And then I met him. Most awkward person in the world. Hopeless in wooing any woman. Talked slightly more than a rock. Completely unlike the 'type' I'm always attracted to. It must have taken all his nerves to ask me out 2 weeks after we met. And I obliged. I had to.
7th grade, I had the biggest crush on this one classmate. But I was impossibly shy. I got friend-zoned. For a whole year, I had to listen to his 'this and that girl' talks. Burned like hell. So a shy man asks me out after gathering all his courage, no way I was going to reject it.
To my surprise, our date went rather well. I wanted him comfortable and in the end, he felt more at ease. That was when I saw it in his eyes. Clear as day. Someone was as scared as I was. Maybe even more. And, it tucked my heart. I knew that feeling so well, I could sense it anywhere. The burnt little child hidden behind the strong warrior.
I had been like the moon for a long time, shining bright for all the world to see. Yet, completely alone and cold in the big, dark universe, waiting in vain for someone like me to come along. Someone who witness me, someone I witness.
That day, I witnessed him. And, something woke up my slumbering soul that left it gasped hard for air. I met someone as misfit as I was, yet with a soul as pure as the morning dew.
Was that the day I fell in love? Or did it happen when I accepted to spend my time with him? I can't tell.
Does it even matter anymore because, somewhere in between looking into his eyes and talking about things I couldn't even remember anymore, my heart had cemented him in deep into my very being.
Pain was an excellent muse. But when it hit real hard, even words dried up. I couldn't write anymore and so I took up painting. I sucked at it. My brain would conjure beautiful scene but on canvas, it would just translate into a 5 years old sketching. Terrible, terrible idea to think that pain alone could magically turn you into an artist.
Then, I had my moments of genuinely believing that I was going to die a sprinter. I must have bathe on weed coz who drew up a whole 50 pages of my possible single life's trajectory and baby adoption plan at 27 years old?!
I was an emotional runner and I was great at it. Nothing could hurt me and I felt invincible. Nobody was going to get through my guard again, ever.
And then I met him. Most awkward person in the world. Hopeless in wooing any woman. Talked slightly more than a rock. Completely unlike the 'type' I'm always attracted to. It must have taken all his nerves to ask me out 2 weeks after we met. And I obliged. I had to.
7th grade, I had the biggest crush on this one classmate. But I was impossibly shy. I got friend-zoned. For a whole year, I had to listen to his 'this and that girl' talks. Burned like hell. So a shy man asks me out after gathering all his courage, no way I was going to reject it.
To my surprise, our date went rather well. I wanted him comfortable and in the end, he felt more at ease. That was when I saw it in his eyes. Clear as day. Someone was as scared as I was. Maybe even more. And, it tucked my heart. I knew that feeling so well, I could sense it anywhere. The burnt little child hidden behind the strong warrior.
I had been like the moon for a long time, shining bright for all the world to see. Yet, completely alone and cold in the big, dark universe, waiting in vain for someone like me to come along. Someone who witness me, someone I witness.
That day, I witnessed him. And, something woke up my slumbering soul that left it gasped hard for air. I met someone as misfit as I was, yet with a soul as pure as the morning dew.
Was that the day I fell in love? Or did it happen when I accepted to spend my time with him? I can't tell.
Does it even matter anymore because, somewhere in between looking into his eyes and talking about things I couldn't even remember anymore, my heart had cemented him in deep into my very being.
No comments:
Post a Comment