The Sonata Watch

This morning, I was on a plane from Bengaluru to Chennai. As I sat on my seat, I noticed the man next to me wore a gold-coloured 'Sonata' wristwatch and it brought me back to that first time I travelled home from Delhi. 

I was 14 years old at the time and my mom was worried that I was too young to travel back alone from Delhi to Mizoram. Back then, there wasn't a flight connection between Delhi and Mizoram. So, we had to take a 36 hours train ride from Delhi to Guwahati. And then, from Guwahati to Aizawl, we had to take another 16 hours bus ride. From Aizawl to my hometown it was another 9 hours bus ride. 

Somehow, my mom found another girl who was about 17 years old at the time that was also going back the same time as me. So, together, we went back from Delhi to Assam by train, and from Guwahati we took a bus to Mizoram. Once inside the bus, my friend, being the older one, graciously made me sit next to the window while she took the aisle seat.

Now, our travel dates coincidentally was in July, the worst monsoon period in the mountains. During this period, it was a given thing that somewhere between Assam and Mizoram, there would be a road block caused by landslides. Sometimes the roadblock lasted for few hours, at times even up to a week. We'd frequently get stranded on the road for days at a time, relying on food bought/given by nearby villagers, other commuters. (How I used to hate the mountains then!)

It so happened that, on this trip too, there was yet another landslide just before we reached Solan in Nagaon district, Assam. During the night, the bus halted in the middle of nowhere and all of us were informed that there was a landslide and situation was too dangerous to venture further so, we'd wait there on the road at night and re-assess the situation after the next daylight. 

With nothing we could do, we went back to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night, my friend vigorously shook and woke me up. I was confused. 

"Yes, what happened?" I asked her. 

She was shaking. "That guy at the back was fondling my breasts while I slept!" 

"What?! Which one?"

"That guy in the last seat, middle one. What should we do?"

I craned my neck to look at the man. It was too dark to see his face as all the lights were switched off inside the bus. I could see a thin man who appeared to have dark skin. 

"I don't know. Should we scream or complain to the bus driver?"

"I don't know!" she replied. 

We discussed options. We'd never experienced this before. We were in the middle of nowhere, in state of Assam where we didn't know anyone or spoke their language. It would be wiser to wait until sunrise and then complain about him. People would wake up by then, and there might also be other Mizos in the bus and other stranded buses like ours. 

"Yeah, let's ensure he gets a good slap. How dare he!! In the meanwhile, we must keep guard and not let him escape. If he tries to leave the bus, we will scream. Let's do an alternate sleep watch." We agreed. 

But that was not to be so. We just did the 36 hours shitty-train ride and boarded that bus straight from the train station. Not to mention that we were growing teenagers, very much infused with the sleep hormone. 

Both of us fell asleep. Unknowingly. 

By the time we woke up, the sun had risen and half of the passengers had got down from the bus, including our culprit. We got down the bus and search for him. Totally futile move. 

There were passengers walking about from our bus and at least 3 other stranded buses. There were so many Indian (Aryan featured) men and all of them looked exactly the same to us!! 

I think we pointed at all the men asking ourselves, "Is that him?" "No, that guy looks at us, maybe that's him?" or "That guy, he's thin. Is that him?" 

That wasn't all. 

After our failed suspect/culprit identification, we decided to sit down by the road so we could fully focus and remember the man's face. That was when my friend looked down and saw that she was wearing this  cheap, 'Sonata' gold coloured wristwatch on her right arm. 

That bugger,  for some reason, in addition to fondling her breasts, also made her wear his watch while she slept. 

"How did that happened?!" 

Was it before or during the fondling, or after we kept 'guard' and fell asleep? We had no idea!

Oh the trauma, anger and helplessness we felt!! 

The guy never came back to the bus and we ended up giving the wristwatch to this one drunk Mizo guy who happened to be in the same bus as us.  

To this day, every time I see a Sonata wristwatch with a gold-coloured metal/stainless steel chain, I laugh. 

Mina at Summer Camp

As I walked out of my tent, I noticed a woman sitting alone by her tent. The sun was about to set and most people were partying with their friends. And the ones too tired to party sat with their friends in their little circles, laughing. Initially, I passed by her. Someone was waiting for me by the lake, and I was eager to meet up. 

But something stopped me mid-track. Nobody sat alone by their tent in the middle of Summer Camp unless. I went back and greeted her. She responded with a warm smile. "What you're doing here alone?" "Just catching some breaths". "Are you alone? You wanna walk back to the arena with me?" "No thank you. I'm good here." She smiled and waved me off. 

"No. Please come with me. I am all alone. I'm new here." I gave her my hand and maybe she felt bad for me, she got up and we embraced each other. It was that easy, because the rest of the Camping days, we became friends. And she became the highlight of my Summer Camp. 

Before meeting Mina, I had plans. I'd studied and marked all the sessions, talks and games I'd attend to. But then, we talked about her life. We hugged each other, cried together and encouraged each other. 

Mina's from Philadelphia and had recently divorced her husband of 18 years (She looked so young, she made me look like her grandmother). Married so early she had 3 kids aged 24, 19 and 14. Worked in CSA and was recently homeless after the divorce. Found her husband's affairs in the worst way possible, lost everything she held dear right before her eyes in one moment. 

Have you ever watched a woman so vulnerable and strong at the same time? A woman who had her heart completely broken yet had the strength to pick up and try to heal herself? A woman who ensures that her work and responsibilities never once show her bleeding, broken real self?

At times like that, you wish you were God. 

Let's Start Writing Again

So, I removed all my earlier posts before. I got my heart broken and I felt there were no longer needs for words. I started this post because of him. 512 poems, 215 prose just for a single man. That was a bit much. I loved hard.

Pain was an excellent muse. But when it hit real hard, even words dried up. I couldn't write anymore and so I took up painting. I sucked at it. My brain would conjure beautiful scene but on canvas, it would just translate into a 5 years old sketching. Terrible, terrible idea to think that pain alone could magically turn you into an artist.

Then, I had my moments of genuinely believing that I was going to die a sprinter. I must have bathe on weed coz who drew up a whole 50 pages of my possible single life's trajectory and baby adoption plan at 27 years old?!

I was an emotional runner and I was great at it. Nothing could hurt me and I felt invincible. Nobody was going to get through my guard again, ever.

And then I met him. Most awkward person in the world. Hopeless in wooing any woman. Talked slightly more than a rock. Completely unlike the 'type' I'm always attracted to. It must have taken all his nerves to ask me out 2 weeks after we met. And I obliged. I had to.

7th grade, I had the biggest crush on this one classmate. But I was impossibly shy. I got friend-zoned. For a whole year, I had to listen to his 'this and that girl' talks. Burned like hell. So a shy man asks me out after gathering all his courage, no way I was going to reject it.

To my surprise, our date went rather well. I wanted him comfortable and in the end, he felt more at ease. That was when I saw it in his eyes. Clear as day. Someone was as scared as I was. Maybe even more. And, it tucked my heart. I knew that feeling so well, I could sense it anywhere. The burnt little child hidden behind the strong warrior.

I had been like the moon for a long time, shining bright for all the world to see. Yet, completely alone and cold in the big, dark universe, waiting in vain for someone like me to come along. Someone who witness me, someone I witness.

That day, I witnessed him. And, something woke up my slumbering soul that left it gasped hard for air. I met someone as misfit as I was, yet with a soul as pure as the morning dew.

Was that the day I fell in love? Or did it happen when I accepted to spend my time with him? I can't tell.

Does it even matter anymore because, somewhere in between looking into his eyes and talking about things I couldn't even remember anymore, my heart had cemented him in deep into my very being.